Salut. Would you like to get married in France?
You won’t be alone. Many people dream of a getaway wedding somewhere romantic in the world. With rolling hills, vineyards, and whimsical chateaus, France calls to scores of people with love in their hearts.
Today I want to talk with you about some French wedding traditions.
You’re probably going to find quite a few of them to be familiar; after all, we’ve adopted them here in the United States.
18 French Wedding Traditions and Rituals
1. Less Bride-Centric
While the bride is important, she’s not the center of the show in France. There’s less emphasis on a big flashy engagement ring. Instead, a bride will be given something more low-key by the groom. In turn, the bride will gift her groom a watch.
There is significantly less emphasis on the traditional bridal party as we know it. Instead of large groups of bridesmaids and groomsmen, they have a few crucial friends of the couple to help with legalities.
2. Bridal Fashion
The wedding gown, also known as la robe de mariée, is an understated affair in France. Brides don’t wear flashy accessories but focus on quality. Make-up is minimal, leaving the bride’s natural beauty to shine.
The French style is airier, focusing on the fabrics used instead of precious adornments meant to catch the eye.
3. Trousseau and Wedding Armoire
The word “trousseau” translates to a bundle of linens, clothes, dresses, and lingerie for a bride to take home with her to start her married life. The wedding armoire was a handcrafted armoire or hope chest made by the bride’s father. It was often intricate and full of symbolism for a life of wealth and prosperity.
The items within would be hand-chosen by the bride and her mother. They would then be monogrammed with the bride’s married initials.
Today, it’s much more common for this French wedding tradition to be followed by the purchase of these items; rather than handcrafting them. After all, not too many women have professional wood craftsmen for fathers.
4. Fiançailles
In France, an engagement should be romantic and filled with symbolism for the couple. Forget all about the extensive showy public engagements in front of a crowded Eiffle tower, and instead, picture something more intimate.
The French also do not make a big deal of announcing to others, instead choosing to speak with their families and friends one-on-one to tell them the good news.
After the engagement, it’s traditional to hold a “fiançailles.” The fiançailles is a meeting between the families of the bride and groom. It’s less of a big deal now, as people are often together for several years before becoming engaged.
5. La Maire
The only legal way to be married in France is through the “la maire.” Performed by the mayor or one of their deputies, the ceremony doors are open to the public. The doors are open to allow for any objections to the wedding.
After the legal ceremony, the couple receives the “livret de famille,” which will hold many important documents. In this book, they’ll keep the marriage certificate, passports, and birth certificates of any children they have in the future.
The next day they’ll hold a more symbolic ceremony, considered the “real” wedding for many.
6. Wedding Procession
To begin the wedding procession, the groom will pick up his bride-to-be from her home before the ceremony. From there, the march will be led by the bride, her father, and musicians.
However, the path isn’t clear. The bride will need to cut her way through. Children will block the way to the church by stringing white ribbons across the road. This charming tradition represents overcoming the obstacles of married life.
7. Grand Entrance
All of the guests will seat themselves in the church. When the ceremony begins, the groom and his mother will walk down the aisle together. This part of the ceremony is called the “le cortège” and will be followed by the bridal party, girls scattering petals, and boys carrying the ring. The bride is then escorted in by her father, and the couple sits on red velvet chairs.
8. Exiting the Church
After the happy couple has taken their vows, they’ll exit the church, where guests will shower them with rice. To be showered with wheat or rice is a symbol of fertility. On the ground, laurel leaves will be spread as a gesture of their achievement in getting married.
9. Wedding Party
There are no bridesmaids or groomsmen, at least not in a sense Americans might think of them. Instead, French wedding tradition calls for “témoins.” Témoins serve as witnesses to the legal and symbolic weddings. They’re allowed to wear whatever they please and sign legal documents. These are close friends of the bride and groom.
10. Le Vin D’honneur
For the typical American cocktail hour, the event lasts an hour. For the French? This event alone is two to three hours in length. The reason for this is that French weddings are divided into multiple parties. The cocktail hour can have anywhere from 100 to 400 guests, but it’s common for not all guests to receive an invitation to the dinner afterward.
A wide array of hors d’oeuvres are served, along with copious amounts of wine, and people spend hours mingling and talking before going home. This is an ideal invitation to receive for a family with young children or others who may not be able to stay for the entire length of the wedding party.
At the end of cocktail hour, the bride and groom will arrive.
11. La Voiture Balai
“La voiture balai” is known as the “broom car”. Unique and French in style, something like the Citroen 2CV is often chosen for this. The car comes decorated with pans, tin cans, streamers, and other things to make it even more festive.
A quirky French car is not always enough for some couples; instead, they choose a horse-drawn carriage to whisk them to the party.
12. The Main Event
After the cocktail hour, the bride and groom will say goodbye to any guests that did not receive an invitation to dinner. Those expected to stay will move on to the main event, dinner, and dancing until the morning hours.
Dinner won’t begin until close to 9 pm. And once it does, the party doesn’t end until close to 7 am. Everyone eats a decadent dinner, has dessert, and then dances until the sun rises. At around 4 or 5 am, “le soupe a la oignon” or “French onion soup” is served to help fortify guests to recover from a long night of partying.
13. Wedding Cake
Or not. French wedding traditions dictate that there isn’t a wedding cake like we’d expect. But the alternative is a delicious and sweet experience that won’t let leave you disappointed. “Croquembouche,” a profiterole style cake, is reminiscent of a time when guests brought their dessert to the wedding.
Other desserts, such as cookies and macarons, can make up the cake now. Each guest will take several cream puffs from the pyramid, meaning that the cake’s height depends on the number of guests.
14. Champagne
No wedding is complete without the toast. Assembled by a professional, champagne is poured into the top glass and cascades down. And you thought a pyramid made of delicious cream puffs was rich and extravagant.
A more exciting and daring version of the champagne toast is “sabrage,” where a saber uncorks a champagne bottle. You certainly shouldn’t try this unless you’re a professional and sober.
15. Coupe De Mariage
Coupe de mariage is a two-handed shallow silver cup that serves as a family heirloom. In the past, this cup was used for the toast. It’s a less common practice now, but a new coupe de mariage may be gifted to the couple so they can record their wedding date on it, along with the births of any children. Most brides and grooms will opt for a simple champagne flute instead.
16. Dragee
The “dragee” is a sweet candy favor handed out to guests at the wedding in a small bag. Each guest is gifted five candies meant to represent: health, wealth, happiness, longevity, and fertility.
17. Father-Daughter Dance
Westerners will be familiar with a sweet French wedding tradition, the father-daughter dance. For Americans, this happens later in the night. But in France, the father and bride will kick off the evening’s merriment. Mid-way through the dance, the father will give the bride away to her new husband. This happens around midnight when the dancing begins, and the party continues until about 7 am.
18. Wedding Pranks
A very old French custom is for the couple’s friends to play pranks on them the night of the wedding, called the chiverie (or shivaree). It wasn’t unusual for them to stand outside the house and bang pots and pans until the couple let them in. They’d then get to have a few drinks with the newlywed couple.
It’s no longer a common custom in this modern age. Instead, friends will turn up and tie a bell under the bed or tie pans to the car.
