What Happens on Wedding Night?

Everyone thinks about what their wedding might be like, but as a current bride-to-be, I’ve begun to wonder what really happens on your wedding night? Do magic elves come out and simply turn me into a ‘60s sitcom mom for the rest of my days? Am I expected to have the Kamasutra memorized backward and front?

I asked my mother once, and she quickly informed me that she wasn’t sure since she spent the night in a bathroom—crying—while her brother blasted that famous Lesley Gore song, It’s My Party

Inspiring. Thanks, Ma! 

So, what happens on the wedding night? The simple answer is this: it comes down to what you and your special person feel like doingwhen the reception ends.

Forget the Movies

No matter what movies and media have led me to believe, it appears that wedding nights don’t tend to go exactly as planned in the real world. Someone might cry, or fight, or get sick; maybe they’ll even puke on my dress.

By the end of the night—after fighting my dress to escape—it’s impossible to fathom having enough energy stored up to rock my significant other’s world. Plus, waiting for the room to stop spinning might go on all night. One never knows until the floor becomes the ceiling, am I right? 

That’s okay. What they didn’t tell us is that there aren’t any rules about this sort of thing. If riding the hobby horse (so to speak) isn’t at the forefront of your mind after spending several hours with some choice relatives, who could blame you? Besides, you’ll have a lifetime to make up for the lost time.  

As a bonus bit of information and a public service announcement: it IS okay to say no, even on your wedding night.

Eating the Night Away

It probably seems a little surprising to scroll down and find eating to be here. But lo and behold, here we are. Sure, lots of weddings come fully stacked with cocktails, hors-d’œuvres, fancy meals, and desserts as far as the eye can see. I’ve heard from many of my friends who’ve recently taken the plunge that they had no time to eat.

From mingling with their hordes of guests and doing general wedding party events, by the time they’d had a moment to grab a bite, someone else would steal their attention away. Although one friend had her wedding catered by a rather reputable service, she said she enjoyed eating tacos in a hotel bed with her new spouse at two o’clock in the morning.

Opening Gifts

Imagine a massive party, now imagine it was your party. Everyone who attended your party brought you gifts, wouldn’t you be dying to open them? Some couples decide to open their plethora of gifts on their wedding night. 

After one amazing day, and the room size has shrunk to accommodate the two of you, opening your gifts and laughing the night away is a fantastic way to start your new life.